I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
