if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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