My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
