Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
