you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
