is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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