You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
