I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
