Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize