You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
