I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
