38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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