Please, let me fuck your mom
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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