you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
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I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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