The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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