My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
