I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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