And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
