u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
