i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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