I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He has the fingertips of a God
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