after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
