Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
