My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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