what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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