Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize