Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
