I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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