we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
