I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
