you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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