I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize