coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
