I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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