Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
