Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
