areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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