Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
