Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
