my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
