I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
