Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
