she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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