Say something about gay babies.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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