Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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