May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
