Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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