The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
