I looked at my own cervix.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
