Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
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He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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