In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
