life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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