I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Randomize
