forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
