when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
