The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
