she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
