So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Randomize
