well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just cropdusted the office
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
