Where is the hickey?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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