Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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