why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
