Apparently you make a good broom.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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