One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
