Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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