please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
