So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
