Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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