Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
