i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
