My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
