i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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