I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
